By looking for corporate sponsors and offering up naming rights to our house.
The way I look at it, my kids are a helluva lot cuter than most professional athletes and far more likely to maintain their reputation and not get caught in some seedy situation. They’re personable, well spoken and available for all media interviews and press conferences. The maintenance fees at our house are much cheaper than Bank of America Stadium and you won’t even have to hire a kitchen staff since they all know how to cook!
Yes, I realize that Chase already has official naming rights to my house, but I’m thinking they should pony up for a big sign on the front of the house that reads “Chase Players Stadium”. They would swell in pride knowing that their sponsorship paid for:
- 7th grade Cross Country swag – $70
- 7th grade coast trip deposit – $70
- 9th grade marching band dues – $300
- High school parking pass – $125
- High school class ring – $500 (we passed)
- School pictures x 3 – $35
- Girl Scout camping trip: $40
- High school game pass – $100 (plus $25 Booster Club dues)
- Latin Club dues – $10
- General back to school costs that I’ve already spent – $750
And this friends, is just what we have to dole out in September. I’m sure that I have forgotten a few and I didn’t even add a certain someone’s 17th birthday who also falls in this month.
Not a bad deal for a major corporation looking to embrace the community with its warmth and generosity! So, if you work for or know a company looking for a unique sponsorship, have them reach out to me so we can work on details and contracts.
Just please – no tattoos or other permanent fixtures. A mother has to draw the line somewhere, you know?