Nothing makes me crazier than bad drivers. Five simple things that drive me batty.

My Rules of the Road

Commuting used to be no big deal to me when we lived outside of Philadelphia. You couldn’t get from your house to the Giant 3 miles up the road in less than 20 minutes, so when you whine to me
that it takes you 20 minutes to get to work, please don’t expect sympathy. After we moved back to NC, my commute was brutal. Back bedroom to front of the house office. I could go for days without going past the bus stop.

I started commuting again a few weeks ago when I made the brilliant decision (totally sincere statement.. do not misconstrue that) to merge my company with another firm. Now most mornings, I drop the girls off at school and hit the highway heading to my big, new office full of smart and talented people. It’s all great and I love it except for one thing.

I forgot how much other drivers annoy me.

I know what I’m getting ready to sound off on is not new or earth shattering but I have been writing this post in my head for weeks. Not everything involves the road but drivers in general…

But before I get into my thoughts on the roads, a friend of mine has just bought a fantastic pre-owned truck. After doing some research into The stability of a Ford 150, she has finally secured the truck of her dreams! If you are looking for a pickup if your own, a used Ford F-150 is a fantastic choice.

So, let’s get started…

Speeders and Tailgaters: I can’t go any faster than the person in front of me. I’m not a lead foot but I’m not hanging out in the right lane either. So if you come flying up behind me, chomping at my bumper and there’s NO PLACE for me to go – you need to back off. I do not drive a new car and I am not afraid of locking up my brakes justenough for you to crawl into my tailpipe. And you, Mr. Weaver? The one who likes to zoom in and out of traffic? One of my favorite games is one that a bunch of the guys who I grew up with in my neighborhood taught me… they called it Yankee Box but I don’t discriminate and am open to playing it with anyone. You want to crunch up on my bumper and then think you can sneak past me on the right in between that car next to me? I will box you in so you can’t move past either of us.

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Slow moving traffic keep right: This is the opposite of the above. If you’re cruising along doing 5 below the speed limit in the left hand lane and people are passing you in the non-passing lane – move the hell over. I may not move over in the aforementioned scenario but it’s because I’m clipping along at well over the speed limit. You are a nuisance and we don’t think you’re funny.

It’s a yield, not a stop: Trust me – the Department of Transportation is NOT going to put a yield someplace that really needs a stop. I guarantee you that if it’s a yield, you have plenty of time to make sure nothing is coming your way. You stopping puts everyone at the risk of a 5 car pile up.

Roundabouts: The premise is simple. It’s built on yields. When you get to a roundabout, you look to see if someone is coming from your left. If they’re coming, you stop. If no one is coming.. you yield and continue. If you’re IN a roundabout use your blinker if you’re going to be exiting the roundabout. Which brings me to my next point…

Blinkers: Blinkers were not created to tell YOU where you’re going. They were created to tell ME where you’re going. If you’re in front of me and you have your blinker on, I can assume you’re going to turn and that’s why you’re slowing down. If you don’t use your blinker, I can only assume you are an asshat who’s screwing with people. It’s not cool. Use your blinkers. And for heaven’s sake… please remember to turn your blinker OFF after you’ve turned if it doesn’t turn off automatically.

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Parking: You see those lines in the big, giant parking lot? You’re supposed to park in between them. Not over them. Not diagonal. Not straddling. IN BETWEEN. If you have such a nice car that you feel the need to take up to spaces, don’t drive it. I am the one who sees you park that way and will try to park asclosetoyou as I possibly can. I know you’re doing it because you don’t want anyone to damage your car but did you know that if someone does, your insurance most likely won’t cover it. Why? Because you’re parked illegally jackass. And let’s talk about parking in Handicapped spaces when you just ran a marathon. That’s the ultimate of asshat moves. I hope you never are in the position where you need a handicapped spot.

and speaking of parking lots….

Grocery Carts: Can you tell me WHY it’s impossible for you to take your cart 20 feet to the corral? The Teeter is NOT asking that you take it all the way back to the front of the store – that’s why there are at least five corrals for you to choose from. And you know leaving it in the middle of the parking lot is wrong because you look over your shoulder 3 times before you abandon it! Trust me…if you’re leaving your cart in the middle of the parking lot, I’m betting you need the exercise.

Parking on the sidewalk: Okay – I realize there’s no curb there so you think it’s okay to squeeze into it. But look closely. See the difference in color? The parking lot is black and the sidewalk is white. You park on the black part – you walk on the white part. Simple, no? Again – Black: Park. White: Walk.

Okay… I think that’s it for now. Would love to hear your road rules or road rages!

Kristen

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Comments

ABittersweet1
April 3, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Girl. I can’t handle people who can’t drive. I just can’t. I’ma (yes I’ma) need them to go head and get it together. I think I have written 3 separate blog posts on driving- including roundabouts! Oh and four-way stops! People do NOT know how to use those things. Why the heck they  make you read a driving book and take the test if you don’t need to actually internalize anything you read?!?
 
Don’t even get me started with the blinkers. USE YOUR MOFO BLINKER! I mean is it really that hard? Especially so I have a heads up when you’re gonna cut in front of me too close. I’ll hold my head in shame re: shopping carts, I’ve done that a few times. Once I thought a damn tornado was comin’ it was so windy. It was about 10 pm at Walmart I looked around (cause yup, I knew it was wrong) and got in my car and rolled out. **Oops** Now I’ll think of you every time I even consider doing that. My husband is so good about returning them, though.



    April 3, 2012 at 8:29 pm

     @ABittersweet1 YES! Four way stops are another one.  And blinking lights. If the power has shut down the intersection, the rules of the road dictate that you treat it like a four way stop.. you do NOT zip thru the intersection because you think you have the right away.  Carts are in my top 5 of pet peeves. It bothers me SO much that I not only return them, but I have to make them all put together so they fit neatly. Yes. I realize that I’m odd. 



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