It was bound to happen sooner or later…
In my opinion, Camel City Dispatch is THE source for news in our town and the Editor, Chad Nance, will occasionally grab some of my articles and use them in their parenting section. We’ve become friends over the past couple of years or so and share similar attitudes towards parenting and life in general and it’s an honor to me that he likes my writing enough to share it.
Last month when Chad published and promoted one of my articles, he prefaced it with this comment:
Heard a local Mom complaining that Kristen Margo Daukas writes about kids as if she hates being a parent… no.. that’s just stupid. Kristen writes like a parent who doesn’t feel the need to lie to themselves in order to make it through the day. Most important of all… she’s really funny.
Thanks for having my back, Chad but random, local mom.. Me? Hate parenting? Are you kidding me?
Apparently I really rub this random, local mom the wrong way because Chad’s informed me on the QT that she’s a pretty frequent critic of mine who thinks that my posts are full of teen-hate and why would anyone listen to someone who apparently hates being a parent as much as I do and blahblahblah.
Obviously I realize it was someone who doesn’t know me at all and while I’m fine with the fact that she doesn’t like my writing style – to say that I hate parenting is a pretty extreme statement (ironically, she has a long-running blog here in Forsyth County where she chronicles living a happy and kind life..).
Like I told Chad…
I was given the opportunity to write a rebuttal of sorts and I thought about all the things that I could say about our differing parenting styles, etc., but what I’ve decided to do is use it as an opportunity to share some of my favorite life lessons that I, “the person who hates parenting”, have taught my children over the years and also show them that when confronted with negative people and comments, I walk my talk.
- It’s none of your business what people think about you – People are going to talk about you no matter what you do. So as long as you are good with yourself and your actions, you’ve got nothing to worry about.
- People make fun of things they don’t understand – Sometimes people don’t want to take the time to think about a person’s story. It’s easier for them to brush it off and make fun of it because they don’t have the mental capacity and compassion to do more.
- Kindness always wins – When you have a choice between being mean or being kind, always, always choose kindness. It will always take you further and with a lighter heart.
- Haters gonna hate – There will always be someone jealous of you and your successes. A weak person is jealous – a strong, secure person is supportive.
- That is someone’s mother/sister/daughter – If you’re in a situation that you don’t know what to do, put me or your sister or yourself in that person’s shoes. How would that make you feel if someone said or did that to us?
- Not everyone is going to like you – And you’re not going to like everyone. It’s okay. There are 7 billion people in the world, 9.9 million in NC and 236,000 in Forsyth County. You are a beautiful, unique human being with so much to give the world. If someone doesn’t like you trust me, you won’t miss them.
- Don’t let people live rent free in your head – You might think the other person in the situation is sitting there wringing their hands but most likely they’re not. So why waste any more of your precious energy and positivity by thinking about them and the situation?
- We’re all different people – And we all do things a different way. It doesn’t mean that the other person’s way is wrong – it’s just different than how you do it. If we were all the same, think how boring life would be! I am lucky to have friends who come from all walks of life.. religion, political, sexuality and I love them all for who they are. Do I always agree with how they do things? No but that doesn’t mean that I criticize them for doing things differently than me.
I’ll admit that it bothered me for about 5 minutes when all this happened, but then I went to the Board of Directors – the 3 people whose opinion that I care about the most – and asked what they thought of my job performance and got a resounding 6 thumbs up.
And that, my friends is the last time I’m going to think about this.
Oh and my list bit of advice that’s more a reminder for me than them?
Don’t feed the trolls.
Kristen: 1, Mom wars: 0